Broken
by Ae Gardenia
Summary: She was his sister, and he loved her, but he could not deny it -those few, scarce moments, she wasn't human anymore. Even the word 'demon' would not be sufficient to describe the darkness, the corruption emanating from her those bare seconds. (Dark one-shot about Kenshin and Aya in one of their first battles, please R&R! Rated T because of dark/sensitive themes.) (cover by me)


**A quick one-shot I thought while listening to Stay Close by Fireflight :3 (also on wattpad under the username ArashiChan)**

 **To be honest I always imagined Aya being so happy, so calm and optimistic and refined on her exterior, but being a complete wreck inside. Completely sad, completely heartbroken. Honestly, if you think what she'd had to go through in the games (her husband having betrayed Kenshin and then dying, then losing her beloved brother, then her two sons being at each other's throats and eventually Kagekatsu killing Kagetora, over who would be the next clan head... that doesn't sound very nice, does it?)**

 **And, it's also quite evident, through many parts of the story, that Aya is quite messed up. Heck, Ujiyasu points it out at least twice:**

 **a) ''There is something unsettling about a woman that is able to smile like that in the middle of a battle'' (Ujiyasu, Samurai Warriors 3, after Aya says something during a battle, not sure what it was)**

 **b) ''Whoa, easy there. I don't like the way you're smiling like that and holding that knife.'' (Ujiyasu, SW Chronicles, during one of his episodes where Aya is also present)**

 **And yes, if you've played Chronicles you'll know this last one is supposed to be comic relief but... still... Ujiyasu seems to be the one sane man that points out Aya's slight insanity. And Aya herself does nothing to defend herself on that, she may teach about love and honor all the time, but her speech tone/patterns and some of her lines clearly show she's... quite messed up.**

 **Anyway, on with the story! Enjoy~**

* * *

 ***~BROKEN~***

The battle with the Takeda raged on and on, for hours. The sun was barely a gleaming orb emerging from behind the mountains when the battle begun, but now it must have climbed up at the sky, and although heavy snow-clouds weighted down upon Kawanakajima, it wouldn't be far too great a guess to assume the sun was now at its highest.

Aya moved, alike a ghost amidst the battlefield, her fingers gripping tight around her naginata's handle as she turned and weaved through the hordes of soldiers, slicing them open without a moment's hesitation. Kawanakajima was covered in thick snow this time of the year, but this did not discourage her in the slightest. She was ready to fight up until her last breath had exited her lips, her last ounce of blood had left her body. If needed, she'd fight death itself.

' _For Kenshin.'_

She spun, her blade tearing through yet another unfortunate soldier's abdomen as she glanced around, trying to spot her brother amidst the chaos.

For him, she would do anything and everything, kill, destroy, abandon her own soul if needed. Yes, she fought for love, for honor, for righteousness. But first and foremost, she fought for her beloved Kesnhin –because who, if not him, would so perfectly embody this ideals?

' _There.'_

She found him at last, fighting with two of the Takeda's best generals. A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips, involuntarily, as she made her way towards him. If she was vicious in the battlefield, then her brother was a god of war, merciless, yet righteous, disbanding evil and purging this land. At the thought, a tender, caring smile blossomed fully in her lips, and for a few seconds, she paused, lowering her blade and, consequently, her defenses.

 _That_ was her mistake.

Because, less than a few seconds later, she felt a sudden, searing pain shooting across her right arm. A surprised cry left her lips as her limb went numb, her grip over her weapon slackening as her hand seemingly stopped working, her fingers relaxing. She stumbled, falling on her knees over the snow and trying to keep hold of her weapon no matter what.

Of course, she was eventually forced to let go of it, as she reached up with her left hand, trying to assess the damage done to the right one. Her fingers traced over the torn fabric of her coat, proceeding to examine the long, narrow laceration running over her arm. She tried to bend and stretch her fingers, wincing when her hand barely twitched –whatever blade had cut her must have severed a tendon, consequently rendering her arm and hand useless.

She looked up, expecting to see an older soldier, a veteran, perhaps a high-ranking officer. Her jaw nearly dropped in shock when she realised that the attacker was no other than a girl. A little girl, perhaps younger than twelve years old, brandishing a dagger in one hand, and a small kunai in the other. Aya glanced to her right, seeing a similar dagger resting on the snow close to her. She had to admit that, if the girl had been aiming to disable and not kill her, her aim was impressive.

She looked at the girl again, whose rose-coloured eyes were wide in surprise –probably she hadn't expected herself to as much as graze her target.

Aya knew the Takeda used to take young orphans in and training them from an early age, usually to be ninjas, but such a young girl was exceeding her expectations.

Still, the girl was now smiling, twirling her second dagger in her finger.

''Whoosh!'' She chirped. ''I'm a shadow through the battlefield! Now you shall see my ninja abilities to the full extend!'' She prepared to throw the dagger, no matter to deal the finishing blow –Aya had no doubt the blade would easily find its way to her throat- but she was a second too late.

Aya grabbed her naginata with her left hand, lifting it up quickly and blocking the dagger the last second, sending it skid away across a patch of stomped-on snow, flat and slippery. The girl frowned, and immediately jumped towards the spot, to retrieve the dagger, but even in her injured state, Aya was faster. She blocked the girl's way, lifting her naginata. The girl cringed, crouching against a nearby rock, expecting the blade to come down upon her neck.

But Aya wouldn't kill a young girl –even if said girl was a ninja, a dishonoring sneak, fighting from the shadows.

''Leave.'' She handed the dagger back to the girl. ''Go back to your master. Tell him that, should he wish to confront me and my brother, he should do so by coming here himself, not sending treacherous young assassins in our way.'' She paused. ''Go, young girl. And if you decide to confront me again…'' a small smile lit up Aya's face. ''I will ensure this will be your last mission.''

The girl widened her eyes, probably scared and, pouting, grabbed her dagger and shot off, not paying a second glance to Aya's way.

The white-clad woman let out a sigh, looking around at the battlefield. Conflict was still raging on, but most of the Takeda troops were going on a frantic retreat, heading towards their camp. Withdrawing.

She smiled –well, seems like their work was done for the day.

Glancing around quickly, she spotted Kenshin again. He seemed to be done with the fighting, as his opponents lay either dead around him, or rushed away in a hurry, leaving a trail of blood behind. She smiled, walking towards him.

He noticed her, and his eyes immediately fell upon the red splotch spreading over the white fabric of her coat, and he frowned, his expression turning into a worried wince. She smiled a little, and as she reached a few meters' distance from him she opened her mouth to tell him not to fret over her. But the words never left her mouth. Instead, her eyes widened, and her phrase reformed into her throat, turning into a panicked '' _Look out!''._ Kenshin didn't have time to process the info, as he saw her bolting his way. He heard the whistle of a knife flying by a second too late, but before it could have reached him Aya skidded in front of him, deflecting it with her naginata –even with her dominant arm hanging limp and useless by her side, she was extremely efficient.

Kenshin turned, looking at the culprit –a young girl, standing a good twenty meters away, preparing another dagger. So Nemesis had decided to test him by sending over one of his little shadows –how endearing. He prepared to congratulate the girl on her courage, and advice her to leave before this got dangerous, but then he realised Aya was not standing guard in front of him anymore.

Instead, she had just bolted off towards the girl, lifting her naginata up and…

''Ane-ue, _don't!_ ''

She didn't listen to him –her eyes were focused on the hopelessly terrified girl, as she moved her arm in a perfect arc, her blade heading directly for the girl's head.

He didn't think twice of it, and bolted forward. Aya was fast, but he was taller, his legs longer than hers, which was a great advantage against the thick snow. He caught up to her in seconds, his hands reaching out to grab her arm –but she thrashed about, escaping his grip and returning her murderous attention to the girl.

'' _Aya!''_

When even calling her by her name didn't work, he resorted to his last plan –he plainly pushed his body against hers, effectively bringing her down to the ground and trapping her beneath him, her weapon sliding away and out of reach.

Finally, the little girl in front of them overcame the initial shock and, sparing the two siblings a terrified glance, bolted away, disappearing into the lines of retreating Takeda troops.

Kenshin breathed heavily, adrenaline slowly fading away. He glanced down below, at his sister, that had gone worryingly still. For a split, agonizing second, he feared he'd injured her. But then she shifted a little, trying to move. Immediately, his worry deflated, being replaced by anger –an emotion he barely, if at all, directed to her.

''What were you doing?'' He hissed, glaring down at her.

For a few seconds she did not reply, her eyes staring at nowhere as she lay down, the right side of her face pressed against the snow.

''Let go of my arm, if you please.'' She finally said quietly. ''It's quite painful.''

He quickly glanced at her arm, which he held tightly against the ground. He realised his fingers were gripping the upper part of her limb a bit too hard –and that there was fresh blood against his own hand. Remembering she was injured, he quickly let go of her.

The two stood up, Kenshin towering above his sister.

''What were you doing?'' he repeated the question, his voice still harsh, but no longer furious. ''She was a _child._ ''

''She would have killed you-''

'' _She was a child.''_ Aya winced at the sudden increase of his voice's volume. ''You were going to kill a child!''

Aya lowered her head, which, honestly, surprised him. She rarely looked ashamed about anything. He hadn't seen her lowering her head, in fact, ever since she was sixteen –that was the last time he remembered her doing so.

''She was going to kill you.'' She finally repeated faintly. ''I couldn't let her hurt you. I had sworn I would protect you no matter what the cost.'' No matter if it cost her life, or her honor, or even her humanity. She'd discard all three of those, and more, if needed to protect her Kenshin.

Kenshin fell silent, looking at her. He tried to reason her reaction, reason the fact that she only wanted to keep him safe. That she had feared for his life. It was probably true, he knew. He knew how much she treasured him, and that she wanted to protect him.

But her expression, when she bolted towards the girl… the fury spreading across her face… her eyes turning into emotionless, dark pits, bearing no compassion, no mercy, no _soul_ at all. She was his sister, and he loved her, but he could not deny it –those few, scarce moments, she wasn't human anymore. Even the word 'demon' would not be sufficient to describe the darkness emanating from her those bare seconds.

He looked back down at her, trying to form the words in his mouth. Ask her what she'd felt that moment, beg her to assure him she wasn't going to kill that little girl, she was going to show mercy the last second.

However, he knew the truth was far from that.

And she knew it too. Her expression might have even now been interpreted as emotionless, blank. But Kenshin knew her better than everyone, better than she knew herself, and better than he knew his. And he could see that inside of her dark, chestnut-coloured eyes, swirled pain. Pure, unimaginable pain.

With no hesitation, he wrapped his left arm around her, as he put his right one over her head, holding her close to his armored chest.

''Don't do that again.'' He said quietly. ''It's not…'' he hesitated. ''It's not human.''

He knew his words would be painful to her. She had only wanted to protect him after all, but this was not something he could oversee. If his sister was indeed turning into a soulless demon, he would not just stand there and let it happen. He would save her, just as she saved him.

It had taken him a long while, but finally he realised.

All these battles, all this rage, all this killing, war, conflict, hatred, blood… it was taking a toll too heavy on his sister. She wouldn't allow anybody to see it –but, contrary to everyone else, he did not need her permission to stare into her soul. He did not need her to open up. He could do it by just casting a glance over her, over her eyes. And now, he could clearly see what lay behind her calm, composed exterior. A pained, scared, emotionally destroyed young woman, who had seen and done more killing than even men would be able to count, who had killed her own husband because she wouldn't be able to see him kill her brother, who only wished for one thing, that being to protect and impress her brother, be able to stand next to him in battle, to make him proud.

Had it been his fault for training her, when she'd asked him to? Aya was different back in the day, an excited girl who wished to learn the art of a warrior, to fight by his side and have his back in every battle. They should stand together, he knew.

But what if it had been wrong? What if he had been wrong to teach her how to fight –how to _kill._ Yes, he was proud of her. He was proud of her strength, of her skills, of her prowess in battle, and respected her as a warrior equal to him. He knew that she'd even be able to defeat him. He knew she was wiser and, as her younger brother, he should respect and trust her.

But he couldn't just stand and watch her crumble, drown into her own heart's darkness. He was counting on her, yes. But she counted on him all the more –and if he let go, she'd lose herself.

He couldn't let that happen.

However, he decided, for now he should focus on gathering the Uesugi troops and returning to their main camp, from where they'd leave for Echigo. Half-amused, he realised the battle had been a draw. So, that Shingen Takeda was quite the strategist, only letting his troops retreat because in any other case the battle would drag on till nighttime.

He looked down at his sister, relaxing his grip around her and letting her take a small step back. He saw the bloody marks over her clothes, but knew only the one over her arm was hers. The rest had been her enemies.

''Is your wound serious?'' he asked, gently reaching out for her hand. From the way she let her arm hang parallel to her side, he could figure that whoever had injured her had been efficient.

''I'm fine.'' She said shortly, despite she was still unable to move her fingers more than a few inches. She'd get her arm checked when they'd settle in their camp, she mentally noted.

Kenshin didn't press on the issue, just nodded, picking up his sword in one hand, and her naginata in the other.

''Let's go.'' He urged her, and she followed, her eyes lost somewhere far beyond, as if she wasn't seeing this word anymore, as if she was looking at something grim and dark in the depths of hell.

After a few minutes of silent walking and Kenshin signaling to his generals, they stopped. Or rather, Kenshin did, causing Aya to nearly bump against him as she hadn't really expected him to halt so abruptly.

Kenshin looked down at her, quiet, for a few seconds.

''Aya… you're hurt.'' He eventually said, and she just shrugged a little.

Both of them knew he hadn't been referring to her injured arm.

 _~*FIN*~_

* * *

 **Aaaand done :3 I personally like how I ended it (for those who didn't get it: Kenshin was referring to her emotional/mental state.).**

 **Anyway, pretty much that's all :3 oh, and did you realise who the little girl was? Hmmm...? :3 *SPOILERSnotreally* Kunoichi lol *cough***

 **I hope you liked it! Please R &R :)**

 **Arashi/Katja~**


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